

Spielberg could get two hours out of that. He bent at the elbows and the knees, until the wires inside broke, and then his leg and arm just flopped around. He drove a hover-sled around the moon and did astronaut things, like plant flags and do experiments so more people could come to live on the moon - to do things like plant flags and do experiments. I would trust Steven Spielberg to make a movie about Matt Mason, one of my childhood toys. And then I'd hear "Pop goes the weasel" and realize I'd missed it. With my luck, I'd be out in the lobby getting some Raisinets because, man, this movie has been going on forever. No one would leave during the movie, because everyone would want to say they were there when the lid finally burst. That would be critically acclaimed, and the Walker would hold an annual showing. (Note: They actually did, and I did.)Ī movie about a Jack-in-the-box would work if it was directed by Andy Warhol, and consisted of one bored waif model slowly turning the crank for six hours until the thing finally went off. Ten years ago, I'd go see that, if Pixar did it, because Pixar could release a movie about a plastic fork, and I'd love it. Ever since he can remember, the family has spent its days going up in the air and coming down, but he has a dream: What if we went down first, then up? His father is furious - that's just not the way it's done! But his mother, Yo-Yo Maw, is secretly supportive, and wants him to follow his heart. And downs." Critics are raving, calling "Yo-Yo" the best comeback movie since "Rocky X." It's a plucky tale of a yo-yo who lives in a large rambunctious family, the Oy-Oys. What worries me about its likely success is the inevitable toy movies that will follow, because I fear that would make me write a banal and obvious column, filled with things like this:īoy, what's next, a movie about a yo-yo? I can see it now! Tagline: "Life has its ups. I expect it will be duly postmodern and knowing and work on several levels, but if I wanted to spend two hours saturated in pink I'd eat some raw chicken and hug a barrel of Pepto Bismol.

I don't have any opinion on the Barbie movie, or what it means if you're excited to see a Barbie movie.
